


A Sight to See

by Storyteller_of_the_Forest



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Brothers, Conversations, Family is family, Gen, Healing, Hope, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Memories, No Slash, PTSD, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Thor (Marvel) is Not Stupid, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:00:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24591940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storyteller_of_the_Forest/pseuds/Storyteller_of_the_Forest
Summary: Starting a new chapter often means closing the previous one. Thor seeks closure and brings Loki along with him. Loki does not understand his brother's insistence on doing this, but reluctantly goes along with him. He learns it's not just the bad memories Thor is seeking, but the good ones as well.(Part of my Tales of New Asgard series)
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 43





	A Sight to See

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all!
> 
> I'm a little late posting this. Apologies.
> 
> I was halfway through finishing "Even the Gods Need Rest" when I had the idea for this one. I wound up writing the two fics simultaneously. This is a story about closure and respecting the choices of others, even when they're not necessarily what we would choose. I'm actually rather pleased with how this fic came out and I hope you will enjoy it as well. It helped me deal with some stress I had this week (also, I was able to write a scene I've been wanting to write for _ages_ ).
> 
> Oh, this takes place shortly after the end of "The Dedicated Brother" (you'll probably want to read that and "Saving Thunder" before this fic)
> 
> I know some readers might think this is out of character for Thor. I personally don't think it is, but to each their own. I prefer to explore healing rather than revenge and I'm also of the mindset that the onus should not be on the survivor to heal the world/fix things.
> 
> Anyhow, I'm rambling. Hopefully all of you enjoy this little one-shot. I do miss all of you and love responding to your comments :)
> 
> REGULAR WARNINGS
> 
> Haven't seen Infinity War and am not going to see Infinity War (the Russos are terrible human beings. I don't want to hear about them or their god awful garbage).
> 
> I don't do romantic ships, especially not between family members. If you're into that kind of thing, go elsewhere (and don't tag my work with incest ships, please).
> 
> I'm still somewhat new to writing fics. So I apologize for any mistakes, mis-characterizations, formatting errors, or just any glaring errors. Please be gentle: writing fics is literally stress relief for me.
> 
> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated. I don't own anything, obviously all characters and recognizable aspects belong to Marvel.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the story and thank you for reading :)

* * *

“Are you certain this is a good idea, Thor?”

Thor glanced up from where he was rummaging around in his bag when he heard Brunnhilde’s concerned voice. The Valkyrie was standing next to him, leaning against the hover vehicle. The god of thunder looked out across the vast beautiful planes of Wakanda. Truthfully, he wasn’t sure if this was the best idea.

“It is something I must do, Brunnhilde,” he said with a gentle smile. Hearing a huff of annoyance, both Aesir glanced to the passenger seat of the hover vehicle. Loki was sitting there, one foot up on the dash, scribbling in a small notebook he carried with him.

“When he says that, it means he knows it’s a bad idea, but he’s going to do it anyway,” Loki muttered without looking up from the page he was scribbling on. Brunnhilde arched an eyebrow and looked back to Thor.

“King T’Challa is a friend and ally. I want to have only good memories of his home. Confronting what haunts me is how I heal from it.”

“He makes absolutely no sense,” Loki stated, still not paying attention to them. A cool afternoon breeze rustled through the grass, brushing past them. Loki looked up, his gaze traveling to the distance.

“Well, I still don’t get it, but I wish you luck,” Brunnhilde said, pushing off the vehicle. “I’ll be here when you boys get back.”

“Thank you, my friend. I shall let you know if we are running late,” Thor said gratefully. He smiled and waved at Shuri, who was standing in the entrance to the palace. Earlier, she had been showing him her new inventions and Thor loved listening to her eager explanations. She was truly a brilliant mind and did her country proud.

Tossing his bag next to Loki’s, Thor hopped into the driver’s seat. “Ready, brother?”

Loki sighed again and massaged his brow. “Your first excursion as the leader of New Asgard and this is what you choose to do. Norns.”

Thor grinned, though he felt his heartrate quicken slightly. Pressing a few buttons, he steered the vehicle forward, heading in the direction of their destination.

For a few moments, they traveled in silence. Thor looked over at Loki, who seemed fascinated by the landscape. He studied the rhinos in the distance, squinting, then shaking his head. Thor knew he wasn’t wild about this idea. When Thor first proposed it, Loki had laughed for almost ten minutes. That was followed by a short argument, which was then followed by Loki declaring he was not going to participate in this kind of excursion. It had taken Thor the better part of two hours to convince his brother to journey with him and the god of thunder was a little surprised Loki eventually relented.

“I do not understand why you needed me to come along with you,” Loki said.

 _Because I need you. I need your strength to help me face this,_ Thor thought, clearing his throat and shrugging. _Because you’re my brother and I want you with me._

“I do not remember the exact—”

“You’re lying.”

Thor gritted his teeth and eased the hover vehicle around a turn. “You could have said no. If you wish for me to bring you back to the palace, I will do so.”

“No, no, we’ve already decided to do this meaningless exercise. Might as well see it through,” Loki said as he leaned back even more and crossed his arms over his chest. “I do not understand why you did not do this when you were recovering. Surely one of your silly Midgardian friends would be a better companion for such a task.”

“Loki, I could not walk for most of the time I was recovering,” Thor reminded him. “Even when I began to regain some use of my legs, I was often in agony and could not move unassisted.”

Loki frowned and looked at him. “How long did it take them to repair your back?”

Thor shrugged. “I do not know. They gave me a lot medicine to help me deal with the pain and so I slept a great deal of the time. Truthfully, I have very few memories of the first several months. Between the medicines and developing a high fever that almost took my life, most of my memories are hazy at best.”

“Oh,” Loki said quietly.

“Surely I have told you about that time,” Thor said, though he knew he hadn’t. He had spoken to Loki of the kindness of the Wakandans, which was one of his most vivid memories of that period. But he hadn’t spoken of the extent of his wounds, how close he had been to losing his life all over again. Thor often told himself it was because he didn’t want to burden Loki with that knowledge. However, the god of thunder also wasn’t yet ready to revisit such painful memories.

As they continued onward, Thor’s mind drifted back to the first time he had woken up after being rescued by Maria Hill, Nick Fury, and Stephen Strange.

**

Thor’s eye snapped open and he gulped, unable to breathe. He wanted to scream in pain but found he lacked the strength. NO, NO, NO, NO! They had brought him back again! They had done it again! Thor clenched his eye shut, tears leaking out. He just wanted to be at peace. He couldn’t take any more pain. Why did they keep doing this?

Distantly, he heard the screech of an alarm of some sort. There was a strange feeling of…rubber being placed on his face. The pressure on his lungs eased a bit and breathing became slightly easier. He could hear soft voices around him, but nobody was inflicting pain upon him. There was no agony of a blade cutting him open or his flesh being pulled back. No interrogator demanding answers to questions Thor did not know. Or speaking poisonous words in his ear.

“Thor?”

That voice. It sounded so familiar. But…it couldn’t be. This was another one of their cruel tricks meant to lull him into a false sense of security. Thor shuddered when he remembered the enormous needle they pierced his eye with. He had been blinded for hours afterwards and could not see what they were doing. Everything they did hurt.

“Hey, buddy. Can you open your eye for me?”

Thor kept his eye firmly shut, unwilling to give them the satisfaction. They had already broken him so many times. He at least still had control over whether or not he saw their lies.

“Captain Rogers, allow me to try?”

Another familiar voice. Thor knew that voice too and was very curious.

“Open the window over there. Some fresh air will be good for him,” the familiar voice suggested. Thor felt the mattress dip and a strong hand gently took up his own. The god of thunder became even more confused. The men in the white coats never sat beside him. They never held his hand. They never touched him except to inflict even more pain.

“Thor Odinson, I’m King T’Challa. Do you remember me?” that kind voice spoke to him. Thor swallowed. What little he could feel of his body ached fiercely. The pain was driving him mad. He could not feel anything below his stomach and it scared him.

Realizing the voice was waiting for an answer, Thor weakly nodded once.

“Good. It is good to see you once again among the living, my friend. I am sorry you were brought back against your wishes,” T’Challa’s voice continued. “You do not need to open your eye if you do not wish to. I know you have been treated very poorly and I am sorry that happened to you.

“You’re in Wakanda and you are safe. Your friends Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, and Sam Wilson are all here with you. They have not left your side since you arrived. My sister, Shuri, comes to see you every night. She will be happy to hear you are awake. She has been working on her nanites. Hopefully, they’ll soon be able to relieve the pain you’re experiencing.”

The sound of a bird made Thor’s eye open of its own accord. He couldn’t remember the last time he had heard the song of a bird. For a split second, he was terrified that he would be greeted with the sight of expressionless men in white coats staring down at his broken body, debating what part to cut into next.

Instead, he was greeted with the sight of a beautiful black bird with bright green and blue markings perched on the ledge of the open window. The bird let out a chirp, tilting its head as it bounced about. It chirped a bit more before spreading its wings and taking flight. Thor felt tears well up in his eye. Could it be? Dare he hope?

Slowly, hesitantly, he allowed his eye to travel to where the kind voice had been. Tears started streaming from his eye when he saw King T’Challa sitting there, holding his hand, smiling at him.

“Welcome back to Wakanda, Thor,” he greeted. “You are safe here, my friend. You need not fear anymore. You are under my protection for however long you stay here. We shall help you recover.”

Thor sniffled and then became aware of the rubber mask around his nose and mouth. He attempted to look at it, but it proved to be in a difficult position to see.

“That is to help you breathe a little easier,” T’Challa explained, his voice starting to sound distant. “I will not lie to you. Your wounds are severe. Your recovery is likely to be long and arduous, but we shall make you as comfortable as possible.”

Thor smiled weakly and relaxed a little, squeezing the king’s hand to let him know he understood. His gaze wandered to Steve, who was standing nearby, a look of concern on his face. Thor tried to smile reassuringly at his friend. _It’s all right, Captain,_ he tried to communicate.

“Well, there are matters that require my attention. I shall leave you in the capable hands of the healers and your friends,” T’Challa stated as he rose to his feet. “I shall visit you again tomorrow.”

Gently squeezing Thor’s hand again, the Wakandan king looked to him. “Thank you, Thor Odinson, for protecting this world and my home. You have the gratitude of Wakanda.”

Thor smiled weakly and T’Challa turned, speaking a few words of parting to the three men who were standing nearby. As the Wakandan King left the room, Steve Rogers moved forward and sat beside the god of thunder. Thor’s eye dropped to his still broken body and he could feel tears spilling down his cheek again.

“Hey buddy, are you in a lot of pain?” Steve asked. Had he the strength, Thor might have laughed at the question. He was in agony, complete and utter agony. Yet it wasn’t just the physical pain that was afflicting him. Slowly, he raised his hand and pulled the mask off his face, wanting to speak with his friend.

“Loki,” he whispered roughly, wincing at the pain in his throat. “Miss him.”

“Do you want to talk to him?” Steve asked softly. Bucky had already taken out his phone. The was a brief glimmer of hope in Thor’s heart, but he quickly extinguished it. His brother was dead. Thor had seen it. SHIELD had confirmed it. They had shown him the images from the satellites.

He shook his head. “Dead. Thanos killed my brother, he—”

“Loki Odinson.”

Thor’s eye widened significantly, and he looked over to where Bucky was standing. He was holding his phone in front of him and had it on speaker. That…that sounded like…

But it couldn’t be…it couldn’t…

“Hey Loki, it’s Bucky Barnes.”

There was a pause and then a sigh of irritation. “Sergeant Barnes, what can I do for you?”

Tears were streaming down Thor’s face and he put a heavily bandaged hand over his eye, shaking his head. Please let this be true. Let it not be a cruel trick.

“Just…calling to see how you are,” Barnes said, somewhat unsure. Thor lowered his hand slightly, looking to Bucky’s phone. Sam was staring at Bucky, looking a little frustrated with his friend’s lack of improvisational skills.

“Very busy,” Loki replied, sounding tired. “Too busy for this. Is there anything else?”

Bucky put the phone on mute, looking to Thor and whispering, “Do you want to talk to him?”

Thor thought for a moment. He wanted to speak to Loki, he wanted to wrap his arms around him and embrace him tightly and never let go. He wanted to feel his brother’s beating heart, see his sparkling green eyes, hear his mischievous laugh.

Yet he shook his head. Thor wasn’t a fool. He could feel how broken his body still was. There was still a good chance he wouldn’t make it through this. However much he wanted to see Loki, however much he needed to see Loki, Thor couldn’t put him through the pain of grief again. He couldn’t do that to his brother.

Bucky frowned and looked over at Steve, who looked to Thor.

“You sure, buddy?”

Thor nodded. Bucky unmuted the phone.

“Hello?”

“Say, does New Asgard need a butcher? Because I might know a guy,” Bucky said lamely.

“Unbelievable,” Sam groaned under his breath as he dropped his face in his hand.

There was a brief stretch of quiet.

“I’m hanging up now,” came Loki’s unamused voice.

“Okay, talk to you later,” Bucky said chipperly. Loki muttered something under his breath and then disconnected the call.

Thor started weeping, unable to contain his tears. His brother was alive. Loki was actually alive. Those last moments hadn’t been a hallucination.

He felt Steve’s arms gently wrap around him and he hugged his friend. The god of thunder was in a great deal of pain, but he was starting to accept that his ordeal at the black site was over. He was among people who cared about him. And his brother was alive.

Thor was safe again.

**

“Are you certain this is the right way?”

Thor shook himself out of his memories and glanced over at his brother, who was still looking out over the planes. The god of thunder followed his gaze. In the distance, he could just start to make out where they were headed.

Suddenly, he felt a familiar tightness in his chest. _No, no, not now,_ Thor thought as he took a few deep breaths. His pulse started to quicken and his hands suddenly felt clammy. He gritted his teeth and tried to keep his course.

_“I told the little trickster if he failed me there would be consequences,” Thanos’ sneering face taunted him._

“THOR!”

Thor swerved sharply, causing Loki to fall over. Slamming on the brakes, Thor shut off the hover vehicle and tried to stop panting. He could hear blood thundering in his ears and could feel himself start to shake. He tightly gripped the steering, his knuckles turning white.

“The Hel was that about!?” Loki snapped, pushing himself up and brushing himself off. “You didn’t have to turn that sharply to avoid the bloody tree! We have plenty of…”

Loki trailed off when he looked over at his brother, muttering under his breath, “Damn.”

Thor kept staring straight out across the vast empty plane. The trembling was getting worse and he remembered Thanos’ vicious taunts, mocking the god of thunder while taking everything from him. And Thor had been helpless. Dropping his gaze, Thor slowly let out his breath. He couldn’t let the mad titan win. He couldn’t.

“Thor? Thor, look at me,” Loki’s calm voice pierced through the haze of panic. Thor felt warmth gather in his eye. The pleasant coolness of Loki’s hand over his allowed the god of thunder to focus on something other than the alarms going off in his head. He looked over to his brother, who was watching him. Thor clutched his hand, clinging to it like a lifeline.

“Talk to me, brother,” Loki urged. Thor swallowed and licked his lips, counting down from ten in his head.

“I-I have to do this,” he muttered. “I want to do this, Loki. I want to do this.”

Loki was quiet for a moment. “Perhaps you can do this tomorrow.”

Thor shook his head. “If I do not go now, then I will lose my will to do so. I have to do this today.”

He paused and lifted his head, looking off into the distance. “If I cannot face my own irrational fear, then how can I ever be expected to lead our people.”

“You are already a good and respected leader. You don’t have to prove anything, brother,” Loki insisted.

“I have to prove this to myself. I have to prove to myself that I can be a good leader,” Thor responded.

The trickster went quiet again and Thor slumped down, massaging his brow. What if he couldn’t do this? What if he couldn’t face this? What if he failed?

“Do you have to go right now? Right this very instant?” Loki asked and Thor frowned as he looked over to his brother. “What if I wished to show you something? Would you be willing to make a brief detour?”

Thor studied his brother, wondering what he was up to. “What do you want to show me?”

Loki smirked and leaned back against the seat. “Why would I spoil the surprise?”

“Your surprises are rarely pleasant.”

“Well now you’re just being rude.”

Thor squinted at him suspiciously. “You promise it’s nothing disturbing or potentially harmful?”

Loki beamed. “Not in the slightest.”

 _There is a fifty-fifty chance he’s being honest,_ Thor thought with a roll of his eye. “How far away is it?”

“The banks of the river,” Loki replied, gesturing off to the side. “That way.”

Thor sighed and switched the vehicle on again, steering to where Loki was indicating. He was already starting to feel a little better.

_*_

The closer they got to the riverbank; the more uncomfortable Loki became. He started fidgeting noticeably more and was looking anywhere the direction they were headed. Eventually, he glanced up. Reaching over to Thor, he placed a hand on his shoulder. Thor looked over at him.

“You can stop here. We should go the rest of the way on foot,” Loki said softly. Thor furrowed his brow but pulled the vehicle to a halt. He climbed out and looked over at his brother.

Loki was still sitting and he was looking in the distance. Glancing at Thor, he looked up again briefly and slowly let out his breath.

“Are you all right, brother?” Thor asked, concerned. Loki briefly closed his eyes and lifted his face to the sky.

“I’m fine,” he said. Hopping out of the vehicle, he moved around the front to join his brother. Thor reached over and squeezed his shoulder.

“Are you certain you want to be here?”

Loki laughed softly at the question. “If I’m being completely honest, probably not. But…perhaps I need to be.”

He started moving forward, heading toward the bank of the river. Thor followed behind him and Loki slowed his pace slightly, indicating he wanted Thor to walk beside him. The god of thunder quickened his pace slightly so that he was.

They soon came upon a peaceful area with a few scattered huts. Thor glanced over at his brother, curious. Loki furrowed his brow and looked around.

“Ah,” he said, remembering something, and started moving toward one of the huts. It was small, nondescript, close to the shore of the calm river. Thor followed him.

“Brother, why are we here?” he asked, glancing over to the waters. It was still as clean and clear as he remembered. The water in Wakanda was gorgeous, even cleaner than the waters of Asgard.

“Because,” Loki said, pausing before the hut he’d been heading toward. “This is where I stayed after you…after the battle.”

Thor stared at him, stunned. Loki briefly met his gaze and took another few steps forward, resting his hand against the smooth side of the hut.

“This was home for a brief time,” he told Thor, his voice softer than usual. The god of thunder looked at the small dwelling. The thatched roof, the wooden door, it was so much plainer and smaller than he would have thought Loki would be comfortable staying in. Looking back to Loki, he could see the hesitance in his brother’s eyes. Thor was confused.

Loki shifted his weight uncomfortably, looking down to his feet briefly. “This was where I grieved you.”

Thor looked over at him and Loki shifted his weight uncomfortably, crossing his arms over his chest. He took a deep breath, preparing himself.

Before Thor could say anything, Loki pushed open the door and stepped inside. Thor followed and looked around the small space. It was wonderfully cozy. There was a comfortable-looking cot against the wall, light trickled in through the thatched roof. The lighting was warm and not at all overwhelming. This was a perfect place to rest.

To heal.

“I made an altar for you, over there,” Loki said softly, gesturing to a small altar near the door. Thor moved over to it and crouched down, studying it. It was empty now, save for a single unlit candle. Thor looked up at the trickster.

“May I?”

Loki gestured to it, giving his consent. Thor ran his hand over the smooth wood, which had obviously been polished. He wondered how much wax had dripped upon it. Glancing over his shoulder, he noticed the cot was positioned so Loki could see the altar. His brother had looked at it every night, had thought of him, prayed for him.

Thor felt his heart warm.

Looking up, he noticed a dent in the wall. Rising to his feet again, he gently ran his fingers over it. That was when he noticed other flaws in the wall, countless flaws. These walls had been repaired, but there had been so much damage.

Thor turned his gaze to Loki and opened his mouth to ask him a question. His mouth closed again when he saw Loki’s discomfort. The trickster was looking away, somewhere across the hut, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. He was embarrassed by what Thor was discovering, but Thor’s heart was breaking.

Brunnhilde had briefly mentioned Loki’s grief was volatile, but would not give him specifics. “That’s for Loki to tell you. It’s not my place to speak about his experiences,” she had told the god of thunder. “Fuck if I understand them anyhow.”

Loki didn’t need to tell Thor anything. Thor could read the story in the walls. Loki had been angry, he’d been hurt, and he’d destroyed whatever he could to cope with the pain of his grief.

Perhaps even his own hands.

“Well, if we’re about done here,” Loki said, pushing off the doorframe. Thor closed the short space between them and wrapped his arms around his brother. Loki went rigid, holding his arms straight at his side. Thor smiled faintly, hugging him tighter.

“Thank you for showing me this,” he whispered. “I’m honored you have such trust in me.”

Loki was quiet for a moment. “All right.”

After a moment, Thor released him and Loki straightened his clothing. He looked at his brother again. Loki glanced at the altar and Thor followed his gaze.

“What did you put on it? The altar, I mean,” he asked.

Loki shrugged. “Candles, some local flowers Brunnhilde found that reminded her of Asgardian blossoms. Shuri was kind enough to give me a device that projected your image. Of course, when Ross had his agents tear apart this dwelling, that was broken.”

“I am sorry to hear that,” Thor said, looking back to his brother.

“Well, when no one checks a figure in a position of power, they’re inclined to do whatever they please,” Loki said thinly. Thor sighed, realizing they were probably going to have an argument. It was a disagreement they had been having since shortly after his swearing in.

“Loki, I do not wish to fight.”

“Nor do I. As your head advisor, I swore an oath to notify you when you’re being a stubborn fool,” Loki immediately replied.

“There is a reason for my decisions,” Thor stated. “I do not want revenge. That is not the sort of leader I wish to be.”

He stepped out from the hut, moving back to the hover vehicle. Loki was right beside him.

“I am not speaking of revenge. I know things are done differently on this world. I am speaking of legal recourse. You are within your rights to press charges and the statute of limitations is not closed,” Loki told him. Thor opened and closed his hands a few times.

“I’m also well within my rights to not press charges and that’s what I choose to do,” Thor replied, trying not to get frustrated. “Please let this go, Loki.”

“Thor, he’s going to continue testing the limits of what he can do if he doesn’t face consequences. What’s to stop General Ross from plucking any Aesir off the street and subjecting them to the same treatment?” Loki argued. Thor glared at him.

“He’s not that foolish. And he no longer has access to the soul stone. Wanda destroyed it,” Thor stated. “There’s very little he can do. If he harms an Aesir, we can call upon our allies.”

“Why are you so reluctant to have this man prosecuted? What possible reason could you have to protect him?”

Thor clutched the side of the vehicle, lowering his head and closing his eye. “Your citizenship.”

“What?”

Sighing, Thor straightened up, turned around and leaned back against the vehicle, crossing his arms over his chest. He looked over at Loki, who was staring at him, confused.

“When you applied for permanent citizenship, I received a call when I was working late one night,” Thor began.

**

Thor was pouring over papers related to public transportation within New Asgard. Earth was so peculiar with how compartmentalized everything was. Thor thought he had been well prepared to take over leadership, but he hadn’t expected how much paperwork would be involved with his position. Loki had a system that was relatively easy to follow, which made things easier. It was just a lot of work.

Thor was barely aware of his cellphone ringing. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he glanced at the number and felt his heart quicken. General Ross, what possible reason could he have to contact Thor.

For a split second, the god of thunder considered hanging up. But that was cowardly. If he couldn’t face a man, Thor didn’t deserve to be a leader. Reluctantly, he pressed the answer button on the phone screen.

“Thor Odinson,” General Ross’s no-nonsense voice traveled clearly through the line. Thor flinched slightly, briefly remembering the general’s cold blue eyes as they looked down upon him when he’d been helpless. The General had overseen almost all the experiments and tests they’d performed on him.

“What can I do for you, General?” Thor asked, leaning back. He practiced what he’d learned in Sam’s group: steady deep breaths, focusing only on the present, and reminding himself that he was safe. He counted down from ten, the way Loki had taught him to ages ago. While still nervous, Thor felt steadier and more able to continue this conversation.

“Some disturbing intel has come to my attention. I have been informed you’re researching Earth judicial systems?”

Thor frowned. That was true. Natasha Romanoff and Steve Rogers had discussed how Earth dealt with torture. According to Steve, laws were an effective deterrent when applied. However, in order to be enacted, someone had to be brave enough to come forward. “When one person steps forward, sometimes there’s a ripple effect,” Natasha had told him.

“I have. It seemed a good idea to become familiar with the laws of our new home,” Thor replied easily. “My brother and I have been reading about them at night.”

“Ah yes, your would-be world conquering brother. The one who led the first wave of Thanos’ army all those years ago,” General Ross replied easily. “I didn’t think the God of Chaos would be interested in laws.”

Thor grit his teeth. “Loki has made mistakes, a great many, in the past. They do not define who he is.”

“He has applied for permanent citizenship on this planet, has he not?”

Thor felt his heart stop. A crushing grip seemed to wrap around his throat and for a moment, the god of thunder was unable to respond to the seemingly innocent question.

“Yes, we’re just awaiting approval,” Thor said, hiding the unease he felt. He could hear papers being shuffled around on the other end of the line.

“What do you think would happen to Loki should his request for permanent citizenship be denied?” Ross asked conversationally. “How many enemies has your brother made in his life?”

Thor swallowed, not answering. His jaw clenched and anger was starting to overcome him.

“How long was he in Thanos’ thrall?”

“A few years, several perhaps,” Thor replied.

“That’s a long time. Plenty of time to make many powerful enemies. Probably plenty of Thanos’ enemies who are still looking to get revenge on whoever used to be associated with him. I suppose it’s a good thing Loki has you to look out for him,” Ross continued. “I certainly wouldn’t want to face someone like Thanos alone. He almost killed Loki, didn’t he? Right in front of you?”

_“You’ll never be a god.”_

Thor clenched his eye shut, gritting his teeth. “If you’re threatening my brother, General Ross—”

“I’m not threatening him, Thor. I don’t care about your brother, so long as he stays in line,” Ross replied, almost bored. “However, if I were to suspect he was reverting back to his old ways, I won’t have any problem tossing him to the metaphorical wolves.”

_The large ship rising like a monster from the depths, the utter terror in Loki’s eyes. The screams that followed._

Thor swallowed and heard a click in his throat. “Loki has changed. He is a good man. If you banish him, I will go with him.”

“And leave your people leaderless? I thought you were a hero. Doesn’t sound very heroic,” Ross said, easily. “What would Odin think?”

Thor sighed and ran a hand over his hair. “What do you want?”

“You and I want the same thing, Thor: this planet’s safety. A friend in immigration happens to know someone who is reviewing Loki’s application. Your brother left quite an impression on the committee, a favorable one. However, a few members know of my…uneasiness with Loki, related to his past actions. Now, I can ask him to pass along a message that it’s all water under the bridge or I can tell them that I still have my suspicions. And Thor, I do have my suspicions.”

Thor sighed. “If I’m understanding you correctly, if I drop my legal inquiries, you will let my brother’s citizenship be approved.”

“See, you’re already learning about how things work on Earth. I might even put in a good word for Loki. Do we have a deal?” Ross asked. Thor suddenly felt very tired and wanted to go home. It made his skin crawl, but he couldn’t abandon Loki again. He couldn’t leave Loki to such a fate.

“Yes,” Thor said. Lightning started crackling on his skin.

“Good. Have a good evening, Thor,” Ross said before promptly hanging up. Thor put his phone down and sat back. He kicked his desk with a growl of anger. Looking out the window, Thor noticed the sun was setting. He ran his hands over his face and stood up. It was time to call it a day.

**

Thor looked over at Loki, whose fists were clenched at his side. His teeth were grit and the trickster was practically shaking in anger. _Oh no,_ Thor thought, sighing softly and rubbing the back of his neck.

“It was a fair trade, seeing as how I hadn’t yet decided whether or not I wanted to pursue legal action,” Thor said. Loki shoved him roughly so that Thor hit the side of the hover vehicle. The god of thunder didn’t react, having expected such a reaction.

“You imbecile,” Loki hissed. “You selfish ass.”

“I understand you’re angry,” Thor said calmly.

“You had absolutely no right to make such a decision without consulting me, Thor,” Loki snapped. “Absolutely no right!”

“I am sorry I did not tell you. That was wrong,” Thor acknowledged. “But I hope you can understand why I did not.”

Loki let out a breath, shaking out his hands.

“It does not matter. You can still press charges against him,” Loki said.

“I won’t and I’m not going to,” Thor said, feeling a hint of frustration flair up in him. “He did not act alone, and I haven’t the time to find out every responsible party. Aside from that, he is a high ranking general, Loki. We are new citizens. We need to be smart and focus on forging alliances, not antagonizing military.”

“You can do both. You cannot let him get away with what he did.”

“He must live with what he did. That is good enough for me,” Thor said, his voice thin. Loki was really starting to push him and Thor could feel his temper bubbling up.

“It’s not for me,” Loki snapped.

“You have no say in the matter!” Thor roared. “He tortured _me_ , Loki! Not you, me! You do not get to decide what I do or do not do about that. It was done to me and therefore the decision is mine and mine alone! And my decision is I will not press charges so let it go!”

Loki’s lips thinned into a straight line, pressed so tightly together they turned white. Rage flashed in his bright green eyes and his nostrils flared. The trickster was furious.

“Fine, you wish to do things alone? You can do this errand on your own as well. I’m going to return to New Asgard,” Loki said, dangerously calm. He disappeared in a flare of green and gold light.

Thor sighed and dropped his head against the side of the hover vehicle with a dull thump. He had allowed his temper to get the better of him. He would have to apologize to his brother once he returned to the palace of Wakanda. Thor knew he could get Loki to understand if he could just properly explain it.

Looking up again, hoping to see his brother, Thor saw he was alone. Steeling his nerve, he climbed back into the driver’s side seat. Glancing over his shoulder one last time, Thor turned the engine back on and steered the vehicle down the path he was following.

_*_

Wakanda was peaceful country. The planes were particularly quiet. The only sound was the breeze that would rustle through the grass every now and again. When the battle had been fought, the ground had been scorched and trampled, soaked with blood. It seemed like it was a wound that would never heal.

Thor marveled at how the land had healed itself. He could sense the faintest traces of Loki’s magic every now and again. The god of thunder knew his brother had assisted with the rebuilding efforts. Still, it was impressive to see the land held no lasting scars from the last battle. Where so many had lost so much.

Bringing the hover vehicle to a halt, Thor sat back. His destination was a few steps away and yet, now that he was here, Thor was questioning whether he wanted to go through with this. This place would always be with him, even if he managed to walk through it. The god of thunder had come to accept that. Still, it felt like he was seeking closure. It was so close and yet Thor was struggling to reach it. He glanced over to the empty seat beside him, wishing Loki were with him. This would be easier if the trickster were with him.

With a sigh, he hopped out of the vehicle. Thor glanced over at the spot, which was so unassuming. When he’d been fighting, Thor assumed it was surrounded by imposing boulders, sharp and merciless. He could see a few large rocks, but nothing like the jagged monstrosities he remembered.

Thor moved off to the side, following another path. When the battle had started going poorly and it looked like all hope was lost, Thor had decided to try one last desperate attempt to bring down the mad titan. It was suicide, but it was the only chance they had left. Even if he failed, he would be reunited with Loki. He would see his brother, embrace him fiercely, and tell him everything he should have when Loki was still alive and with him.

Thor’s breath caught in his throat at those memories. He continued up the path, walking until he reached a small cliff’s edge. Kneeling on one knee, Thor peered below him. He could still see Thanos standing beneath him in his shining gold armor. He had lost his massive sword, but he was no less dangerous. His back was to Thor and Thor was consumed with the need for vengeance. He was no longer thinking of the battle or the people of this world, protecting them as he had sworn to do. No, Thor only cared about killing Thanos.

Rising to his feet, Thor leapt off the cliff and landed in a crouch. Odd, he could have sworn it was a longer drop. Then again, time moved strangely in that battle. Thor studied the area surrounding him, his memory painting pictures of this site. Where he had lost his life.

Where Thor had lost.

Swallowing, he closed his eye and lifted his face up. Sometimes, he could still feel Thanos’ massive hand around his throat. In that moment, Thor’s rage had become even greater when he recalled what the titan had done to his brother. Loki, his heroic brother, who had given his life for Thor.

Kneeling down, Thor touched the soft ground. After mortally wounding the god of thunder, Thanos had thrown him to the ground. Thor remembered vividly feeling three ribs give under the force of the impact. Standing up again, Thor moved over to the cliff face and ran his fingers over the rough stone.

_Thor lay on the ground, feeling blood pumping out of the wound. His broken ribs were grinding against each other and the agony almost made him pass out. Still, Thor forced himself to roll on his side and put one hand on the ground. Before he drew his last breath, he was going to avenge Loki. He would die here, but he would make sure to take Thanos with him._

_Before Thor could even start to push himself up, Thanos’ enormous foot connected with his midsection, kicking him harder than he’d ever been kicked before. Thor flew backwards and his back connected with the sharp solid stone behind him. The god of thunder felt his spine snap and lost the feeling in his legs. All the breath rushed from his body and he hit the unforgiving ground again._

_Thanos pounced on him and struck him again and again and again. Thor was dimly aware of the pain as his bones broke under each merciless blow._

Thor closed his eye again, holding his hand against the rock face. The titan had latched onto his throat again and held him down as he had beaten Thor severely. Every strike broke another bone until he’d shattered Thor’s body so completely the god of thunder could barely draw in a breath.

Thor played the whole memory in his mind, recalling every sensation. Tears started welling up in his eye when he recalled the agony of the infinity gauntlet. When Thanos had cruelly ripped away the last thing Thor had left: his afterlife. His ability to see his brother again. Thor was barely alive when Thanos tossed him aside like a worthless toy. He’d wound up lying face down in the dirt, completely helpless. All he could do was wait for death. Broken. Alone.

Falling to his knees, Thor pressed a hand over his mouth. He had been so positive he was going to die alone, lying in his own blood in the dirt. He was so alone. The gates of Valhalla were closed to him forever. Loki was permanently lost to him. Thor would never see his family, his friends, ever again. He was alone.

He would always be alone.

Thor wept, loneliness crashing down upon him. He grieved the man he had been before, the life he had led before. When everything made sense, when Thor knew who he was and what the future held for him. What if he never felt that again? What if this new normal was not as good as the old one had been? What if they didn’t advance, but regressed? What if…? What if…?

Thor felt a familiar vice clamp on his lungs as he panted for breath. Gods, he was going to have a panic episode, out here in the open, while he was all alone.

Suddenly, a familiar pair of cool wiry arms wrap around him, supporting him and gently leaning him against a solid form.

“I’m here,” Loki said softly, pressing Thor’s ear against his chest. Thor tightly grasped his arm, desperate for contact as he struggled to breathe. “I’m here. It’s okay. Shh, shh. It’s all right, Thor.”

Thor closed his eye and focused on counting down from ten, clutching Loki. He was trembling violently and adrenaline was pulsing through his body.

“What do you need, Thor?” Loki asked, softly, calmly. “Let me know what you need me to do.”

Thor couldn’t speak as he kept panting and gasping for breath. At one time, being unable to speak to his brother in such a state would have worsened the panic. But Thor and Loki had learned how to adapt to such a situation. He squeezed Loki’s arm and the trickster paused, craning his neck a little.

“Would you like me to continue speaking, Thor?” Loki asked softly. Thor could barely nod his head, but felt Loki rub his arm, indicating he understood.

The trickster kept saying meaningless words of comfort in his soft calm voice, holding his brother close. That familiar feeling of safety came over him and Thor found it a little easier to breathe. His heart stopped racing and the alarms stopped going off in his head. He slumped in his brother’s arms.

“Thank you,” he whispered. Loki’s arms tightened slightly in a way that could have been a hug. Thor remained leaning against him, briefly closing his eye and waiting for the shaking to stop. Loki didn’t protest, continuing to hold him close.

After a moment, Thor slowly let out his breath and straightened up a little. Loki grasped his shoulder, trying to meet his brother’s eye. Thor nodded, letting the trickster know he was okay. He turned his gaze to the grove they were in.

“This is where it happened, Loki,” he said quietly, brushing away some of his tears. Loki made a noncommittal sound and Thor looked at him. Loki’s expression was next to impossible to read, as it always was, yet Thor glimpsed a hint of sadness and pain.

“Are you all right?” Thor asked. Loki was quiet, a thoughtful look crossing his face.

“I never wanted to see this place again. I do not mind visiting Wakanda for diplomatic purposes. In fact, I would welcome the opportunity. But this specific place, I didn’t want to come here again, even after you returned,” Loki said softly. “I do not understand your determination to visit the site where you lost your life, Thor.”

Thor smiled faintly at his brother. “It is not all that happened on that day in this place.”

Loki furrowed his brow and looked at his brother. Thor smiled and leaned forward, resting his brow against Loki’s.

“This is where you returned to me,” Thor told him.

_Thor had drifted in and out of consciousness as he lay on the ground, slowly bleeding to death. He couldn’t feel much, but whatever he could feel hurt. It hurt a lot. He was slowly dying, in a great deal of pain. Around him, he could hear the battle raging. Thor didn’t even have the strength to open his eye to watch. He could hear screaming and weapons firing._

_Things went disturbingly quiet._

_In the distance, Thor heard Thanos’ cruel voice. He couldn’t make out the words, but he recognized the mocking tone. Thor’s heart dropped. They had lost._

_Then, something strange had happened. Thor heard an odd tearing sound. Multiple odd tearing sounds followed by the sound of multiple footsteps, marching. And…ships. That was definitely the sound of ships._

_He wasn’t sure how long he remained unconscious, but when he next partially awoke, things were peaceful. The sounds of battle had stopped. The air was noticeably cleaner. Thor was still in a great deal of pain and he could feel himself drifting away._

_“Thor?”_

_No. No, it couldn’t be. Thanos had stolen that from him. He had twice stolen Thor’s brother. That familiar voice was merely a hallucination._

_And yet, it kept calling. Had he the strength, Thor was certain his eyes would have started welling up. He didn’t care if it was a hallucination. It was nice to hear his brother’s voice. One last time._

_The voice suddenly stopped and Thor sighed softly, feeling very cold. It wouldn’t be long now. He faintly heard the sound of running footsteps. A shadow fell over him and then gentle hands carefully turned him over._

_“Oh no. No, no, no,” he heard that same voice mutter to himself. Odd, he’d never heard his brother sound panicked and afraid. He felt himself being carefully lifted into a pair of thin yet still strong arms. It was strange how real it felt. As did the seidr that Thor felt wrap around his broken body. It was a pleasant sensation, soothing. It chased away the uncomfortable cold that had started settling in his flesh as his life slowly drained out of him._

_Thor struggled to open his eye, determined to investigate the strange sensations. Perhaps the man out of time had found him. Thor did want to see his friends again. One last time. “I would like to say goodbye,” he thought._

_When he finally managed to get his eye open, the first thing he saw was long black hair and a green cape. His breath caught in his throat. It couldn’t be. It was impossible. Thor had seen…he had felt…_

_Allowing his gaze to travel to that familiar pale face with an even more familiar expression of concentration. Oh how his heart ached with hope to see that familiar visage again._

_Loki! It was Loki! How was it Loki?_

_“Brother?” Thor asked, achingly hopeful. Loki looked at him very briefly and Thor saw in his eyes what the god of thunder already knew: Thor was going to die. Even if Loki were really here, Thor’s wounds were beyond his ability to treat. Loki turned his attention back to the countless wounds, trying to heal him._

_Norns how Thor hoped Thanos hadn’t done anything like this to his brother. He hoped Loki had never had to experience the pain the god of thunder was currently experiencing._

_Watching as Loki struggled to help him, Thor marveled at how realistic this illusion was. It had to be an illusion. But no, it couldn’t be. Illusions couldn’t physically interact with their surroundings. Swallowing, tasting blood in his mouth, Thor struggled to speak. If he were to die, Thor wanted to know whether or not this was real. He didn’t know what to believe anymore. “Can spirits lie?” he wondered._

_“Am I in Valhalla?” Thor finally managed. Loki let out a breathy laugh and joy filled Thor’s heart. He knew that laugh. He would know that laugh anywhere. Oh gods, please let this be real._

_Loki looked at him, with a familiar twinkle in his green eyes. Thor’s heart warmed to see those eyes, that light._

_“Do you really think I’d be in Vallhalla, Thor?” Loki asked mirthfully, though there was a tremor in his voice. A happiness unlike any Thor could remember washed over him. His heart filled with joy and a heavy weight lifted off his shoulder._

_It is Loki! He lives!_

_Thor beamed, joy filling his heart. “Loki! You live! I knew he couldn’t kill you!”_

_Whatever awaited him in the next life, Thor no longer feared it. The gods had been kind and given him back his brother in his final moments._

Loki stared at him, visibly swallowing. The trickster looked off across the grove, a shudder going through him.

“I’m afraid I do not share your odd fondness of this place,” Loki murmured. “For me, this place just holds unpleasant memories.”

His quiet words tugged at Thor’s heart. The god of thunder could hear the pain Loki kept well hidden. His brother rarely spoke to Thor about the grief he experienced, but Thor could glean things from Loki’s behavior and words. He knew losing the god of thunder had wounded the trickster deeply. And Loki had mostly endured it alone. Thor rose with his brother and wrapped his arms around Loki, embracing him.

“I’m fine, Thor,” Loki grumbled, but Thor continued hugging him. He hadn’t taken into account that Loki’s experience of this place was different from his own. For Loki, this was the place where Thanos claimed victory over him. Where he had taken Loki’s brother, his last living family, away from him.

There wasn’t much Thor could say that wouldn’t wound Loki’s pride, so he just embraced his brother. Thor had learned how to tell Loki without words that he understood him and that he was there with him. Loki often responded better to such gestures.

“I am sorry, brother,” Thor apologized. He looked to the grove again and he could see in his mind’s eye Loki and he in the aftermath of the battle. Loki clinging desperately to Thor with everything he had left, pouring whatever little magic he had into his brother’s broken body in the hopes that it would make some kind of a difference. Sighing softly, Thor rested his head against Loki’s, still hugging him tightly.

“Is this going to last much longer?” Loki asked dryly.

Thor smiled at the snarky question. His brother still wasn’t as fond of physical displays of affection as Thor was. He had been much more understanding when Thor was still struggling with PTSD, but now that Thor was managing it better, Loki was back to his more standoffish ways. Though he still allowed Thor to embrace him on occasion without stabbing the god of thunder.

Stepping out of the embrace, Thor looked across the grove one last time.

“You know, it’s actually a rather pleasant spot,” Thor observed. “Now that I’m here, it isn’t as painful as it once was.”

Loki rolled his eyes and shook his head, obviously far from convinced. Truthfully, Thor was surprised his brother hadn’t started making his way back to the vehicle. For one, Loki didn’t appear to like this place and the trickster rarely stayed in a place he didn’t like. For another, they had fought earlier and Loki had never been quick to forget.

“Can we return to the palace now?” Loki asked, looking to his brother.

“Not just yet. There’s one more place I wish to go,” Thor mentioned.

“Of course there is,” Loki replied.

“I wish for you to accompany me,” Thor stated. “Please?”

“I’m already out here,” Loki said with a nonchalant shrug.

Thor turned to look at the grove one last time, the place where he had lost his life. Closing his eye and lifting his face up to the sky, Thor felt at peace. Opening his eye, he looked over at Loki, who was also looking at the grove. Looking to Thor, Loki tilted his head over his shoulder.

“Shall we?” Loki asked.

Thor grinned and threw his arm around his brother’s shoulders. “Yes, brother. Let us go.”

The brothers turned and walked out of the grove together.

_*_

As they made their way through the vast fields, there was a comfortable silence between the Odinsons. Thor would occasionally glance over at Loki, who seemed more interested in the scenery going by. The trickster wasn’t overly fond of travel and did anything he could to avoid it. Surprisingly, he seemed at ease in Wakanda. It wasn’t home for them, but Loki admitted he found the place pleasant.

“Where did you go?” Thor asked, drawing Loki’s attention. “When you left earlier?”

Loki looked back to the grass, studying the herd of grazing animals in the distance. “To the palace, to our quarters. I intended to pack and return to New Asgard, but I changed my mind.”

“Why did you come back?”

Loki shrugged. “You have a habit of pushing yourself past your limits. I had a feeling you would experience one of your episodes, and…”

Thor glanced over at his brother when he trailed off. Loki was looking at his hands, playing with his fingers. He cleared his throat and looked up again.

“I had nothing better to do,” Loki ended quickly. Thor grinned and turned his focus back on the path they were traveling. He knew what his brother meant. Loki still had great difficulty admitting he cared, but Thor knew he did. He didn’t need Loki to verify it.

Thor glanced down at his feet, shuffling uncomfortably. “I know you believe my decision cowardly—”

“I do not think your decision is cowardly,” Loki interrupted. “Stupid, perhaps. Ill-advised, certainly. But not cowardly.”

Thor frowned, unsure how to respond. “Um, thank you?”

They traveled the rest of the way in silence. Thor finally brought the vehicle to a halt and hopped out. Loki looked up at the steep hill.

“Norns,” he grumbled, shaking his head. “You really are morbid, brother.”

“What?”

“The place where you were buried?” Loki asked. Thor stared at him.

“Loki, did you really not explore this area? When you came up here?”

“Why would I?”

Thor sighed. “Do you know why they chose to bury me here?”

Loki shifted his weight uncomfortably. “Must we talk about this?”

“Not if you do not wish, but I promise it’s a nice tale.”

Loki rolled his eyes and followed Thor as he started up the path. “Fine. Tell me why you chose this spot as your final resting place.”

“I did not choose it. I felt it was already asking a great deal of the Wakandan people to allow me to be laid to rest here, if I fell in the final battle,” Thor began as they started up the hill. “Though I’m grateful and honored King T’Challa picked this place.

“We spent quite some time here, waiting for Carol Danvers to send word. We knew once we undid the Snap, Thanos would be coming. Luring Thanos was going to be dangerous and so we made sure we were prepared. My shieldbrothers allowed me to have the nights to myself. When I spoke to Shuri and asked her where the most peaceful place in all Wakanda was, she directed me here.”

Thor turned and offered his hand to Loki, helping him up a particularly steep part of the shortcut they were taking. Loki gratefully accepted the help, allowing the god of thunder to pull him up. Thor grinned and continued on the winding path, which was easier now.

“Apparently, this was one of her favorite spots in her youth. She used to come up here to read books on mathematics,” Thor continued. “The peak is beautiful and there are plenty of places to sit, but there is a hidden spot just a few feet away.”

Thor paused briefly and Loki looked over at him, noticing he’d suddenly become misty-eyed. Glancing over at his brother, Thor offered him a watery smile.

“I, um, I cried for you up here. The first time I came up here. I didn’t mind my friends seeing my grief, for I wanted them to see how much you meant to me. But I wanted to keep a part of my grief just for you. So, I would shed my tears in private,” Thor told him. Loki stared at him, stunned. He swallowed and looked away briefly.

“I also sang to you up here, that Aesir lullaby, the night before the last battle against Thanos,” Thor continued, and they reached the top of the enormous hill. “Whenever I came here, I always thought how much I wanted to bring you here. How much I wished I could sit with you here.”

Loki looked curious as he continued to follow Thor. He briefly paused when they passed by what had once been Thor’s headstone. The trickster approached it, his brows knitting together.

“I came here once, when I came to bid you farewell. I thought I saw your spirit. A phantom that comforted me when I felt lost,” Loki said softly, reaching out and touching the cool stone. Thor watched him, listening. Loki sniffled and looked back to his brother.

“Tricks of the grieving mind,” he said with a plastered on grin. He patted the stone and approached his brother again. Thor reached out and squeezed Loki’s shoulder. His heart hurt, knowing Loki had grieved alone. It was out of choice, undoubtedly. His brother was so infuriatingly stubborn and rarely let anyone near him if he felt vulnerable.

“They treated me well here, the Wakandans,” Loki told him, looking over at Thor. “I’m so used to being greeted with suspicion or mingling among people who wear masks. It was strange to be among such kindness. Hospitality offered without strings. I wouldn’t say I enjoyed my time here, but I was comfortable and I didn’t want for anything.”

“King T’Challa is a good man and the Wakandans are a proud and honorable people. I’m so glad you forged an alliance with them,” Thor praised his brother. Loki smiled at him, obviously pleased with the approval.

They continued on, reaching a short drop. Thor hopped down and Loki followed after him. Walking to the cliff edge, Thor sat and looked out across the vast beautiful lands of Wakanda. The sun was starting to set and it looked like an endless sea of gold stretched before them. There were lights in the distance where the city was. Off to the side were the mountains, snow peaked and towering in the rays of light. Thor closed his eye and inhaled deeply, feeling the clean air in his lungs. Up here, he felt like nothing could touch him. Up here, there was only peace.

He heard Loki approach and sit down beside him. Thor opened his eye and looked over at his dark-haired brother. Even the trickster seemed at ease and there wasn’t a hint of rigidness in his posture. Loki was comfortable.

“I felt at peace up here,” Thor told him. “Down there, I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. The overwhelming heaviness of my grief was crushing me. So many needed me and I could not help anyone. I could not see them. I was suffocating.”

Loki looked over at him, a hint of concern in his expression.

“Thanos may have broken me during that battle, Loki, but the truth is, I was already cracking,” Thor told him, admitting something he hadn’t had the courage to face until recently. “I was dying before that battle was waged.

“Still, I managed to find a sanctuary. Somewhere high up,” Thor said as he looked to the colorful sky.

“You always did like heights,” Loki mentioned with a soft smile. Thor chuckled.

“Up here, it felt similar to home. I could look out over the lands and keep watch over the Midgardians. I could protect them from up here,” Thor continued. “I was closest to the heavens and therefore close to the skies, so I could call upon my lightning.

“When Danvers returned, we had a day to prepare before Thanos arrived. Brunnhilde and I spoke, got our affairs in order. I told her I wished to be buried among the Midgardians who fell in battle, somewhere up high if it were possible.”

“I know,” Loki whispered. Thor looked over at him. Loki shifted his weight, bringing a knee up to his chest.

“When I finally accepted you were not coming back, I wanted to bring you back to New Asgard with me. Even though it still wasn’t built and we barely had enough shelter for the Aesir who still lived, I didn’t care. I wanted to bring you back to our people. But that wasn’t your home. No one place was your home. You had given everything for the people of this world and you deserved to be laid to rest according to the customs of the planet you had adopted as your new home,” Loki told him. “I had to leave you here, allow the Midgardians to lay you to rest. It was…unexpectedly difficult. I did not understand why it hurt so much.”

Thor studied him. Loki was rarely ever this conversational. He was not one who offered up information freely. While his brother did love telling tales, stories falling under the dominion of lies, Loki had a much more complicated relationship with the truth. And it wasn’t often he trusted someone to offer it.

“I like it here,” Loki said, bringing Thor out of his thoughts. “I can see why you found solace in such a place.”

“Not morbid then,” Thor teased. Loki smirked and looked down, trying to hide his smile. Thor elbowed him a little and soon the two were snickering. After their laughter died down, Thor looked back to the sinking sun.

“I’m sorry,” Thor said. “For speaking sharply to you earlier. It was uncalled for.”

Loki was quiet, a thoughtful look on his face.

“I was thinking this afternoon,” he started hesitantly. “If Thanos still lived and were captured by some galactic ruling body, if he were put on trial, would I come forward and speak against him?”

“That would never happen. No one could have held Thanos,” Thor said. A sad smile danced across Loki’s lips and his gaze traveled back out over the lands of Wakanda. A breeze swept through his dark hair and he closed his eyes briefly, inhaling the clean air.

“Perhaps not, but there are powerful forces in the galaxy that could potentially capture even one as powerful as Thanos,” Loki replied. “I do not think I would ever testify against Thanos. I would not trust anyone to be able to contain him or protect me. I’m very aware of my skills and abilities, numerous and powerful as they are, but none would help me against Thanos.”

Thor stared at him. His brave brother, the one who had cared for him and sat through nearly ever panic episode no matter how intense they were, who had shown such strength and courage even in the face of the unknown, was admitting he could not face his tormentor. That the mad titan had hurt him deeply enough that Loki could not even fathom a scenario where he would face him again. That was…certainly unexpected. Loki never admitted weakness, not even to Thor. _Is it weakness, though?_ Thor thought. It seemed like he was constantly reexamining his definition of the word.

“I know Gamora told you what I likely experienced when in Thanos’ thrall, most of which is accurate and some of which is worse,” Loki continued, pausing. He looked over to Thor. “I do understand, brother. I understand how frustrating it is when those around you project how they think you should react and feel about such experiences. It’s partly why I never spoke about what happened. I preferred to forget it. My foolish thinking was if I forgot about Thanos and what I endured then it never happened.”

Thor felt the hairs raise up on his arms briefly and felt a rage deep in his soul. Every time he remembered what Thanos had done to his brother, Thor wished he could kill him again. No matter what Loki’s mistakes, nobody deserved what Thanos had done to him.

“You don’t owe anyone anything, Thor,” Loki said, his voice firm and unyielding. “What was done to you was horrific. It was inexcusable and there should be justice for it. You are well within your rights to press charges against the ones responsible. You are also well within your rights to not press charges. Whatever you decide to do, I will support. But I want you to make the decision for yourself, not because of a threat you perceive to me. My citizenship should not affect your decision. They cannot hurt me, Thor. They cannot hurt you."

“They have power and sway, Loki.”

“As do we,” Loki argued. “We have allies who will not stand for such a thing to happen. Do you not trust your shieldbrothers?”

Thor sighed and looked down to the ground below. He felt his brother’s hand rest on his own and Thor interlaced his fingers with Loki’s.

“This is your decision, Thor. Yours and yours alone,” Loki murmured, resting his brow against Thor’s temple. The god of thunder closed his eye and turned his head slightly, comforted by his brother’s natural coolness. After a moment, Thor sat up and Loki leaned back. The god of thunder knew what he should do, knew what the right thing to do was, and yet…

“I want to move on, Loki,” Thor told him apologetically. “I know I should invoke Midgardian law. I know I should have them stripped of their positions. But…I’m so tired. I’m so tired of reliving what they did. I want to move on and continue healing. I want to focus on my duties to our people. I must protect the Aesir, Loki. I want to move on.”

Loki looked somewhat disappointed and it made Thor feel even worse. He dropped his head, feeling shame start to coil within him.

“Okay,” Loki said. Thor looked up and Loki smiled. “That is what we shall do.”

Thor felt tears well in his eye. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not bravest action—”

“Bravery comes in many forms. You were not given a choice about whether or not to return to life, but you have stayed regardless and traveled a difficult road to recover. You are doing what you must in order to heal. There was a time when you would not have,” Loki replied, leaning against his brother.

“Are you disappointed?” Thor asked softly. Loki shook his head.

“You are doing what is best for you. Why would I be disappointed in that?”

Loki was quiet for a moment, looking over at Thor. “You owe me no apology, Thor, nor do you owe me an explanation. I said I would follow whatever you decided to do and so I shall.”

Thor felt his eye well up and he rested his head against his brother’s, staring out at the beautiful night sky. The stars were just starting to dapple the dark blue sky. He smiled to himself. It was odd how calm Loki made him feel. Most peculiar for a god of mischief. Where once his words were used to wound, Loki now used them to sooth and even heal more often than not.

“I’m glad we came here, brother,” Thor whispered. “We shall have new memories of this place, better ones, as we embark on the path of leadership together.”

Loki nodded. Thor gently wrapped an arm around his brother, holding him close, and studied the moon that rose before them.

“You know, just because you’re not pressing charges against that dreadful mortal doesn’t mean I’m not going to make his life a living Hel,” Loki stated matter-of-factly.

At one time, such a statement would have infuriated Thor. He would have snapped at his brother, raged at him, demanded Loki behave properly. Instead, Thor just smiled and briefly buried his nose in Loki’s dark hair. He loved the trickster dearly, accepted him unconditionally, and hoped Loki would never change (at least not too much).

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Thor told him. “I love you, brother. I’m glad you’re here with me.”

“Likewise,” Loki said. Thor could hear the smile in his voice, and it warmed his heart.

They sat together in the hidden sanctuary, watching the night sky. No words were needed. They were together and that was enough.

**_The End_ **


End file.
